7 Levels of Facebook Friends – aka how to keep some of your sanity on Facebook

This is how I keep some level of sanity on Facebook. See the end of the article for some additional references on cleaning up your feed even more.

1) we’re friends & I follow you & show your posts first (subtle settings difference)

Identifying close friends will increase the number of posts you will see from them:

The Facebook “Close friends”, “Acquaintances”, “Restricted” breakdown:https://www.facebook.com/help/200538509990389?helpref=faq_content 

See “Q&A” at the bottom of this article on how to batch add or remove people from various lists quickly.

2) we’re friends & I follow you

This is the bulk of most people’s facebook friends. You make a friend request to someone and they accept. It defaults to “following” anyone you friend.

3) We’re friends & I have 30 day snoozed you after a few too many negative or political posts

To snooze (or maybe you made a mistake and want to un-snooze someone before the 30 days is over) follow these instructions: https://www.howtogeek.com/338526/how-to-snooze-someone-for-30-days-on-facebook/
You can also do this to pages and groups you follow or are a member of as well:  https://techcrunch.com/2017/09/14/facebook-snooze/

The person or group you snooze will NOT be notified of your decision to snooze them.

4) we’re friends & I unfollowed you because you ONLY post super negative or political posts but aren’t so bad I should unfriend you.

Unlike snooze, unfollow is not a temporary 30 days. It lasts until you decide to follow someone again. But again, the person you are friends with will not know that you are not seeing their posts. And like snooze, this can also be done on pages you’ve liked as well.
For people and pages:  https://www.facebook.com/help/276458109035418

5) we’re friends but I added you to the restricted list so you don’t see non-public/friends only posts. (See also “Acquaintances” list.) 

Often this is the result of someone being argumentative without listening or regularly being condescending. 75-100% of their comments are this way. And and sometimes the behavior is online only and they are very different IRL. And occasionally these are people worthy of unfriending but too integrated into friends groups to go this far.

See “Q&A” at the bottom of this post for instructions on adding people to the restricted list.

6) we used to be friends but I unfriended you. This is rare. I think under 10 times total.

Examples:
a) someone has made a blatantly unquestionably racist post (and I realized don’t have their phone number and did not know them well enough to have a proper personal conversation about it)
b) someone regularly argues in a condescending manner and has no substantial ties to friends groups – aka doesn’t listen and brings no value to the “friendship.”
c) the person broke up with someone and got engaged to someone else so I know they aren’t getting back together with someone in my friends group (and honestly I found this person way creepy to begin with but didn’t want to unfriend them if they were going to keep showing up to parties or get back together with a certain someone.)

How to unfriend someone (again, they won’t be notified): 
https://www.facebook.com/help/172936839431357?helpref=faq_content

7) blocked someone completely.

I don’t think I’ve done this yet to anyone (maybe 1 person) but would consider doing it if someone who regularly says mean and condescending things were to persist in doing so regularly on my public and business posts even after being unfriended. Snots, trolls, bullies. (For business I would recommend inviting them into a DM to discuss and exhaust all options before resorting to this measure. Some people just need to be heard.)

How to block someone: 
https://www.facebook.com/help/168009843260943?helpref=faq_content


Turn down the Facebook noise:

Additional Reference material for possibly cleaning up your feed.

These two posts from Robert Scoble may still have some useful info despite their age:

Groups – turn off (or adjust) notifications:
https://www.facebook.com/help/187225274663021/

Keyword snooze: https://newsroom.fb.com/news/2018/08/inside-feed-keyword-snooze-people-turn-down-the-noise/


Q&A:

How do I quickly label a lot of people as acquaintances [or Restricted] on facebook?

Setting someone as an acquaintance will have them see fewer of your facebook posts. Not none, just fewer. Again, here’s the The Facebook “Close friends”, “Acquaintances”, “Restricted” breakdown: 
https://www.facebook.com/help/200538509990389?helpref=faq_content 

From a computer go to: 
– https://www.facebook.com/bookmarks/lists/
– Find the Acquaintances link and click it.
– Top right you’ll now see a manage list button. Click that and it will say “edit list” – click that. 
– Then you’ll get a screen that shows you who is currently on the list. 
– If you want to add people, top left of that screen will have a drop down and you should select “friends” from that and then you can add more people to the Acquaintances list. 

IF you want certain people to only see your posts that are public, you’ll want to put a lot of people on the Restricted list instead of the Acquaintances list. Acquaintances only reduces the number of posts that people see unless you use the “Friends except acquaintances” option. You can follow the same process to batch add people to the restricted list as well.

Additionally you can also add ONE OR TWO PEOPLE QUICKLY to the acquaintance or restricted lists…

Via computer or iphone app:

  • go to the person’s profile and look for “Friends” with the down arrow.
  • On the computer hover, on a smartphone, tap. You will get a dropdown from that.
  • From the dropdown either select “Add to another list” on the computer or “Edit Friends List” on the smartphone.
  • Select the list(s) that you want to add people to.